Dad wants coffee from my coffee shop because it's roasted by, ahem, me.

Vera: Oh. You want coffee? Okay.

Papa: Yah. Don't want tea!

Vera: What kind of roast you want?

Papa: The best lah!

Vera: Tsk. What the best.... hahhahaha light, medium or dark?

Papa: Oh medium to dark. I want like Vietnamese coffee lidat.

Vera: Dark dark one ah?

Papa: Don't know leh. Stronger scent. Not smooth one like the westerners like.

Vera: Sharp and smelly. Okay. Got it.

Papa: Yah. Like you.

HHHAHAHAHAA!!!

I miss the conversations i used to have with Dad, whether in person or online. Online because, well, we're not on the same continent for most of the year. Here's a new quote:

After asking him to teach me how to drive when i get to Aussie, i told him i drove Ivan's manual car before in a quiet neighbourhood at 4am and Bean took a voice recording of the hilarious chaos that ensued. To listen, go to Bean's blog and look under the label Hilarity, and then scroll down to "Vera Driving" or something like that. I would like to first clarify that it was my first time driving. And the car was a MANUAL. (Which of you can drive manual huh!?) And i neither hit nor killed anyone/thing despite what sounds like chickens in a panic in the background. It's me and Bean laughing. After listening to it:

Dad: So hilarious. What answer did u expect when u asked what do u have to do at the turn?

Me: HAHA i thought got to do something tricky with the gears or the clutch or what mah. Thenthen, there was one try where i shifted to second for the first time then i was going too fast then ivan said, "STOP IT!", so i let go ot the clutch and the gas.

Dad: You mean stop the car?

Me: Yah. And then stalled. HAHA!

pause.

Dad: i'm now having second thots.

Me: WHYYYYYY! But it's only my first time. Not bad already okay!

Dad: hahahahhahahahah okay.

Me: At least i shifted to second after 3 tries or so.

Dad: Anyway mine is auto and it wont stall. If it does u must be really bad.

Me: HAHHAHAHAHA what car is it?

Dad: Ford focus.

Me: Eee. Ford.

Dad: ? It's free.

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH! I like these conversations where Dad is damn funny but he doesn't know it until i write it down. Then after that he admits to himself, "Yah, actually i'm quite funny ah..."

It's the start of summer and i'm kind of bored. I can't bring myself to get out of bed even though i'm in desperate need of a shower and a toothbrush. The fact that it's 2pm has nothing to do with it at all.

San Fran with Bean, Ivan and for a while, Nicole was great while it lasted. It's such a wonderful city, so much character and not too shiny. One thing i loved very much were the cafes everywhere and the almost compulsory al fresco dining. Not cafes like Starbucks, but real Italian and French ones with waiters and baristas that spoke the language and English with an accent. In America, it's really all about value for money. The portions are ginormous. I could never finish my food although i always want more. One thing i found out about myself on this trip is that i'm quite a pig. Must be the "Yeo-Fong: Let's Go Makan" training. It didn't matter if i was hungry or not, the principle was: Got (new) food, Must eat. Downtown shopping was the usual big American city fare. All the big brands and Macy's, Saks Fifth Avenue, Nordstrom. All big, all expensive so we didn't shop there. Driving was a bit crazy downtown though. Pedestrians in San Francisco have no notion of road safety / do not understand what the "no walking" light means. They just happily sashay (yes, here the men sashay) across the street in full-on traffic, oblivious to people, and by people i mean us, staring in disbelief at their idiocricy. Ivan road-raged at them a bit, silently, in the car. It was quite fun though, to be a passenger in a car zooming here and there, dodging the odd greasy pigeon eating stuff in the middle of the road. Very simulator-esque. And of course, San Fran's got all those fantastic hills to zoom up and down on. I wonder if you park 90 degrees to the curb (like you have to) on hills and slam the car door very, very hard, you can make the car roll down the hill and cause a car avalanche with the other parked cars. I don't think Ivan would have liked me to try that.

We went to Berkeley to pick and drop off Nicole. It's so charming! Well some parts of it at least. Some parts are a bit ghetto. There's an ice cream place near the university that makes their own ice cream and ice cream cones with chocolate at the bottom. My goodness... blew my mind. I want that place. They had flavours like brown sugar clove, silver lime and other things i don't remember but all fabulous. It was so pretty! I just sat in there eating my cone and staring about in wonder. I would give up saying "I don't like ice cream" for more of this. Halp. I'm hungry just thinking about it.

On the way home from San Fran, we stopped at Bodega Bay to eat oysters and look at the sea. I wish we had longer to spend travelling. And also more money. To get there, we had to take the coastal highway which was one of the prettiest, most interesting drives ever. There, we had oysters and steamed clams and watched sea birds flap uselessly against the wind. Oh! We saw a sealion and Bean went into raptures. I only saw the ass before it disappeared underwater again and i've seen them before so i wasn't that enthralled but it was still cool! It was quite easily 10 metres in front of us. Then we followed the GPS that led us east across / close to Napa to join up with highway 5. Man... that was easily the best part of the trip. The road wound around hills with orchards and vineyards and forests covered in mist because it was a rainy day. I wound down the window and hung my head out because the air was so fresh. We have very unattractive photos and videos of that. For a moment i thought the air smelled like perfume, but then i realised that i was smelling Bean. haha!

Okay i'm going to eat tacos. So long!

Bob (on the phone): I need to take the biggest piss in the world.

Vera: Why. Why do I have to know that?

Bob: What?? I thought you wanted to know what was going on in my life! What?? Why are you laughing??

out and aboout.

in a wonderfully orchestrated day, God at once taught me, reminded me, gave me back my capacity to love, and refilled me with joy. this day was incidentally one of the most depressing, emotionally distressing days i've had in a long while (Bob was the lucky one who got to bear the brunt of snarky remarks when i wasn't in attitudes of deathly despair). but in His perfect way He turned sorrow into more joy than i've ever had before. nothing really drastic happened either - just delicious illumination. i have no cause to be depressed if everything i do, i do for Him.

the pastor was right, once you trust God, you gain perspective. my life is not hopeless. i just forgot what to hope for. but i remember again and i'm rejoicing for it! He let me wander in the dark, not as a punishment for my sins, but for me to rediscover that He is good. Jesus said to Peter, right after He predicted Peter's famous denial, "Let not your heart be troubled..." (John 14:1)

so i'm not gonna either.

i need a direction. i just want to know where i'm going, what i'm heading for. nowadays it seems like whatever i do is a pointless mess. i don't really know why i do them anymore. i knew once, but i've forgotten. so i'm not doing work just because i don't see why i should, or if i do, it's not for me that i do it. i might have pms. although somehow i think that even if that went away, i'd still feel the same way.

i don't want to carry other people's burdens anymore. i'm quite tired. i know, i help. but who's going to help me? i'm just so very tired...

Dentures Brynn!

Hehehehe! Bean put her retainers in the cup we use to put our toothbrushes! Machiam dentures! I'm so tickled! Note also how everything else around it is so neatly placed. And also that the tube of toothpaste has had it's contents pushed to the front because the way i left it all bumpy was untidy. Bean amuses me so much!!!