I know what my knees resemble now.

Bruised potatoes.

Happy Christmas to All and Sundry.

Okay okay update on my cool and exciting existance. Pictures at the end of the post, if i remember.

I'm having rolling good times in California! California rocks. If i ever decide to move to North America, i'll move to Cali. The very foundations of Bean's house quakes with laughter as Bean, Nicole (sister of the Bean) and I laugh at every ridiculous detail. Her family is tres entertaining in all its quirky hilarity and emotional showdowns. We have good food everyday and ice cream when we want it. There is a giant complex of branded outlet stores, in the middle of end of season sale, in which to go crazy handing out money to strangers behind cash registers. I am having a rolling good time.

We went to Lake Tahoe, which is 7000 ft above sea level i think, for a spot of bracing mountain air and magnificent snow-covered mountains. And there, i learned to snowboard. Be jealous, all you dwellers of hot, humid, flooding, very flat Singapore. Okay fine, by snowboard i mean stand on board and try not to unstoppably zoom down the slope. With the right state of mind and a reasonable amount of psycho-motor coordination, i can get down the slope at one go. Otherwise, it's zoooooooom, fall on butt (ow.), get up (grunt.), try a turn, fall on knee (ow.), get up (grunt.), zooooooooooom, all the way down. I have a multitude of bruises (both the speckled kind and the solid coloured kind) on my knees and on my butt to prove it. Whole-body muscle aches restricted most activity the day after, and maximum activity consisted of waddling slowly from spot to spot and then sitting down with a great heaving sigh. The house we stayed in was huge, very nice and very mountain cabin-ish. There were not enough beds (we were 13 heads in all), so we brought along airbeds. Bean and i shared a double airbed which leaked so that in the morning you either found that your tailbone was resting most uncomfortably on the floor, or that your ribs were digging painfully into the ground. Moving on your side of the bed caused the other person to wobble around uncontrollably on the other side. Such fun!

Okay i'm quite tired of typing now. And i cant remember half the stuff i'm supposed to say. I'll continue the log of my Cali adventures in another post then.

Done.

Well now, exams are over. My current state of mind and attention doenst allow me to express my enthusiasm. I am a tired old sack of bones and eyebags now. I do think i need some post-exam trauma treatments - like alot of money to go shopping, among other things. I cant believe the degree of freedom i have now. So much that i dont know what to do with my time anymore, now that my life is not dictated by school work. Ah well... sleepy time is now. I'll have more razor wit when my brain is not a woolly mess.

Oh yah. Daniel Craig = WahLaoSoHot.

So tired. And quite dead.

Sheng: See your nonsense!

Gloomy Sunday. - Please dont die.

Oh sad, sad, sad, sad song. The lyrics are marvellous for spinning a black mood.

This song's history is tainted by the deaths of the ones who ended their lives after hearing it (so Vincent says). It was composed by a Hungarian pianist, Rezso Seress years ago after his lover had committed suicide. He killed himself after he wrote this song. According to urban legends, it caused hundreds of suicides after it was released in America, but that's probably a story created to romanticize the whole thing. The original lyrics of crushing hopelessness and bitter despair were replaced by a Hungarian poet's words in order for it to be marketed, and then translated. The following was translated by Desmond Carter.

Sunday is gloomy, my hours are slumberless.
Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless.
Little white flowers will never awaken you,
Not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you.
angels have no thought of ever returning you
Would they be angry if i thought of joining you?
Gloomy sunday

Gloomy Sunday, with shadows I spend it all;
My heart and I have decided to end it all.
Soon there'll be candles and prayers that are sad, I know;
Let them not weep, let them know that I'm glad to go.
Death is no dream, for in death I'm caressing you;
With the last breath of my soul, I'll be blessing you.

Dreaming - I was only dreaming.
I wake and I find you asleep in the deep of my heart, dear.
Darling, I hope that my dream never haunted you;
My heart is telling you how much I wanted you.
Gloomy Sunday.

I'm so sad now. waaaailll.

It is wailed by Billie Holiday if you want to download it. It really is pretty harrowing.

Even More Pictures! Vera, what's wrong with you?

Okay bigger picture of pretty window. I know it's alot of photos. I'm doing this as a break from studying okay. And see, Bean Tey bought me half a sweater from Club Monaco. I am le elated. It actually looks nicer on me than on that hanger. Ahem. *coffbuaypaisehcoff*.






























Okay since i'm posting these photos, i might as well post somemore.

OCB = Obsessive Compulsive Bean

Bean: I'm very sad. One of my hangers broke. Now they won't be in multiples of five.

Irrelevant pictures.

Today is anyhow put up pictures day! See especially my pretty Christmas lights!

Love is not blind.

It loves in all imperfection.

Thankyou in advance.

I need prayers! For stress, cleverness, focus and discipline.

It doesnt even have to be fancy. Just pray for 10seconds under your breathe right after you see this. Please? Muchas, muchas gracias.

So, pray, good people! Pray!

The Big, Annoying Mess.

Some smarty pants went and put up the answer key for my Bio 200 exam on WebCT before the actual exam, and as a result about half the class knew the answers when they went into the exam hall. To rectify the situation, the Bio 200 people are holding a retake in January for those who want it, and for those whose exams are suspected of being too similar to the answer key. But please for goodness sake who's going to write the answers word for word in the exam? I'm sure they think about the fact that the markers are going to smell some fish when your paper and the exam key sitting side by side on his table have the exact same stuff, no? I refuse to take the exam again. I refuse to study more than i already have to. No! Nononono! The exam is never going to be fair no matter what recovery measures you take.

And so to the people who caused all this pangsai, i say:

Whattheheck?!

I am in a state of unrest. And because of that, i have been staring at the same page of bio notes for the past hour.

The Sudden Urge.

Sudden urge: I think i might want to be a journalist.

Suddenly urged by: Oriana Fallaci. Read an article about her here. I cant stop thinking about it! I have a craving to do just what she did. Look for truth where people couldnt get it, defend freedom, make a social impact, a global impact. I want to go to warzones, risk getting shot, risk everything in the name of truth. People deserve to know the truth and theres not enough of that going around. I want to go to Africa, Iraq, Lebanon, and live life each breathless day at a time. That, will be what i call fulfilling.

Help me! I'm craving so much it hurts. I'm actually shaking with emotion. Now, this is bizarre...

AIYO!

HAHAHAHAHAHHA!

The internet is the bane of my existence. Also, green phlegm.

I WANT

I know what i want for Christmas! Onitsuka Tiger shoes!

Uh. Just in case you were wondering.

This is My Father's World

This is my Father's world
Oh let me ne'er forget
That though the wrong seems oft so strong,
God is the ruler yet.

Marry me. Now!

I want to be a bridesmaid twice, then a bride. (Because three times a bridesmaid, never a bride what...) And i want to do this all in Vera Wang dresses.

Go and see for yourself, and understand why i'm going mad with all the prettiness (and lust).

Detrimentary Effects of Winter #2

Study until siao:

this orange = sour
sour = alot of phlegm
alot of phlegm = not good

therefore,

eat orange = stupid.

I have a sore throat from eating popcorn.

It's two days before the exam and the WebCT server is down. How?! Why?! NONONONONONONO!!! How am i going to find out the things about targeting proteins into the endoplasmic reticulum that i didnt pay enough attention to find out? This better be a 10 minute thing. If not i shall have to read my textbook. But thats so uncool.

Who reads textbooks nowadays when you have online notes? Just kidding. I will read my textbook.

So old skool.

Detrimentary Effects of Winter #1

Oh my goodness. I cant stop eating! Cannot! Nonstop! My mouth has to munch something if not i feel like i'm not doing anything constructive. Wah irony! This is destructive! I blame Bean and her room full of goodies slathered in sugar. I must have eaten about 10 pieces of Almond Roca (excellent, excellent happy food) in her room. Bean has hence lost her voice and now sounds like a man, although in overenthusiastic moments her voice thins out into a very funny two-toned squeak and it is my duty to laugh very hard.

See now i cannot stop eating Ritz biscuits (on sale at Safeway - 2 boxes for $7.00!!! Wah!). *munchmunchmunchcrunchsmacksmack*

Carpe diem.

From the diary of a Vera Yang (yes i have a diary now):

I wonder what it's like to live a life of risk, having your destiny balance precariously on an edge before tipping forever one way or another. It must hurt sometimes, if you fall and bang your head, but my gosh how good it must feel if things went your way. The peace of mind, and the sweet satisfaction that you saw opportunity and took it, risking life, limb and a pretty face.

I dont think I've ever been much of a risk taker. I'd like to think of myself as careful, but really, I'm just scared. I should really try to live more dangerously from now on - feel my heart hammering against my ribs, the blood booming in my ears, and my head spinning from the adrenaline with each step. I think I'll take this risk of taking risks. I can hardly wait for the time when I will crave the rush of uncertainty.

But for now I'm still the scared spider waiting apprehensively in the safety of the shadows - heart hammering, blood booming, head spinning - longing to look the fat fly in it's face, and smother it with cobwebs.

I'll do it though. I will.