Menstrual Munchies.

I want alot of things i don't usually eat. Like chocolate. And ice cream. With caramelized apples. It's like i'm pregnant. Only it's an oxymoron when i have my period.

I always know when it's the time of the month when i start getting extremely emotional about things. They don't even have to be real situations. In fact, most of the time they're in my head. If i imagined someone i loved died i could totally start bawling. I was in bed doing quiet time about three days ago, and i imagined i was married with three children. The eldest one was a boy, about 8. Then a girl a bit younger, and then a baby girl, about 2. And then my husband came home from work and all my children exploded with excitement. 

I was so happy i cried. How pathetic right. 

I want a baby.

Eeeeeat Meeeee!

I've been really well fed by myself lately. I bought a cookbook from the bookstore and i've been going crazy every since. It's all i can think about, "Cook what next??" 

I had the best steak i've ever had two days ago, in red wine sauce. And yesterday was pork chops with apple and onions, rice and a salad. Today i'm baking cod with lemon and butter. I'm so excited! 

It's kind of nuts. I've even considered getting  a basil plant. 

I'mma get fat. Yum yum.

 I'm so emotionally and spiritually drained. I don't even think it's worth feeling anymore.

I want to smash things.

Say a Little Prayer for Meeeeeeeeee

Exams are upon us (me) again! It never ends. Please pray for me. I need prayer. Pray for determination and perseverance and intelligence and inspiration and no distraction.

Just, "God I pray for Vera. Please give her determination, perseverance, intelligence, inspiration and no distractions during exam time. And also a new cellphone. Amen," will be good enough.

Please?

ANON.: Smeh, if we were made to worship God, what about people who are tone deaf? 

Weird Things I Dislike:

Sleeping.
Taking showers.
Stopping for meals.

I wish they weren't necessary. They're such a nuisance and a waste of time. Other than for the fact that I need them to stay alive and function reasonably well. 

Man, i wish i didn't have to sleep. Ever. I'll never be late for class. I'll never have insomnia. I'll never have to feel tired and unproductive. I just want to keep going and going and going.

I like to eat for fun, you know, to try new things. I just don't want to do it as a necessity. I hate that it limits my activities and my moods if i don't have proper meals.

I just feel there are so many more important things in life to be doing besides sleeping, eating and showering. I could accomplish so much more, i think.

THIS BLOODY ESSAY IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!! IT'S ALL DISORGANIZED AND UNFLOWING. AND LATE.

i wish i didn't care. if i didn't care i wouldn't be tired but refusing to go to bed because there's an essay trying to eat my brain! why is it so hard???

Obama.

Having undutifully not voted in the last American election, i decided it was my duty to at least watch the victory speech of Barack Obama in Chicago, IL. 

His charisma reminds me of a rock star.

Drowning Ants and Bacon.

I'm reading a book for a book review (i know! who does book reviews anymore??) for my environmental ethics course written by George Perkins Marsh in the 19th century. He has been heralded as one of America's first conservationists. Although he wasn't scientifically trained, he was widely read and apparently gathered enough shit to be able to write quite intelligently on the topic of conservation and sustainability. His ideas are still widely accepted in today's sustainability movements. While he had extremely good foresight/hindsight/insight, he also had the ability to pack many, many ideas into one sentence, and to do it with many, many words. Maybe that was the style back then, and people had more cultured and coherent minds. Maybe following the flow of ideas framed in 10-line sentences was an unremarkable task. But the untrained modern reader (me) drowns like an ant who thought she could haul the pot of honey home by cannonballing into it, in the midst of the giant sentence-paragraph-mutants he constructs. 

"Purely untutored humanity, it is true, interferes comparatively little with the arrangements of nature, and the destructive agency of man becomes more and more energetic and unsparing as he advances in civilization, until his impoverishment, with which his exhaustion of the natural resources of the soil is threatening him, at last awakens him to the necessity of preserving what is left, if not of restoring what has been wantonly wasted."

-George Perkins Marsh, 1864

All one sentence!!! This isn't the longest sentence either. 

_____________________________________________

One hungry Sunday afternoon, Bean and i were in the Irish pub where they serve breakfast till 3pm. The Full Irish Breakfast is 1) Very Large, 2) Very oily, 3) Extremely satisfying if you're in the mood for it, and 4) Just DAMN Good. So, after the impatient 15 mins or so of waiting for the kitchen to construct this monster meal, the food arrived. We attacked. 

And after putting off eating the bacon she was crazy-craving for the last week, Bean couldn't stand it any longer and took a bite of one glistening, crispy sliver and sighed the sigh of one who has reached the End the Maker had prepared her. 

With an expression of absolute bliss, she said, "Mmmmmmmmmmmm... This is why God made pigs."