P and P.

WTF. I just wrote one million words and i got directed to another page and lost everything. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Possesive and Paranoid: two words that describe me. I dont know why i am. I just am. I know i shouldnt be and that it does no good to anyone, not myself, not anybody. BUT I STILL AM. And i hate it so much. It just makes me feel lousy and worried and anxious and so so bloody helpless. Omg i feel like scratching someone. Ugh!!! I'm trying to make myself not be those things and i'm telling myself that it's okay, everything's the same, it's just your imagination driving you to despair, dont worry about it cos its not true. But i cant help thinking What if it is true? What if youre being a fool and an idealist and youre telling yourself nothing is happening when its really happening right in front of your nose and youre too naive to see it? OMG, VERA!!! -smacksmack What happened to Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding? Why are you so quick to lose your faith? DIDNT WE ALREADY DISCUSS THIS?? Didnt we agree to trust in God's plan? You of little faith. How can God work in your life when you doubt His intentions even in areas as trivial as this? Hokay. I think that was my concience. Otherwise i'm schizophrenic. But i dont think so. Another angsty evening. Bleaugh. I have to stop this or i will go into regression and become a whiny, emotional teenager again and then slowly morph into an amoeba.