RETARDO.

This is an email i sent to jessie. I'm copying and pasting this because i'm too lazy to type more stuff. And this is about what i would say anyway. i'm so annoyed with myself. i keep saying retarded things i think he thinks i'm such a weirdo la. i bet he will like change his mind and think i'm just some stupid kid. help. im so stressed now. everytime he talks to me i just HAVE to blank out. WHY CANT I BE COOL??? but no... i have to zonk out and say the most stupid thing possible. i dont understand why. AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! like cos last night he knocked on my door to ask if i got my bowl back. i hadnt. but i was so shocked to see him i just stopped thinking i think. i dont remember much but i think i gave him the impression that i was mad at him or something cos he gave me this funny look before he left. i was so upset at my behaviour i just sat on the floor and stoned for like 5 mins. plus somemore i just did my laundry and the dryer sucks so i hung my clothes all over the room to dry them. (heng i kept my undies already). AIYO I HAD SOCKS ON MY LAMP LA!!! and a giant bedsheet hung across one wall. OOOOOOHHHHHHH... DIE LA... I'LL NEVER GET MARRIED!!! BNIWXSDBJNFDBNWEUIBDWJDBEWOFIQ~!!!! HURUMPH!!! isnt that so totally annoying?? i want to tell him that i'm not mad at all. cos i feel so bad and its killing me. bleaugh. -soft sad meep. i dont understand why the only thing i can do is blush and say silly things. AAAHHHHHHH!!! and you know how blushy i get. esp now i'm so fair its even worse. i bet i radiate infra red. pfft. BLOODYHELL! Yesterday our floor hosted this Christmas party for less fortunate kids. We cooked grilled cheese, rice krispies, cupcakes, let them do crafts, taught them the concept of caring, sharing and giving, and let them take pictures with Santa (aka adam). AIYOOO and they were all so cute!!! i hope they had a good time. Theyre mostly from broken homes kind of thing, and Ankita heard this kid saying that being here was so much better than being at home, and she didnt know what to say. I love my floor. They are good people and i;m so glad papa complained about my basement room in Edwards Hall and had me moved up here. They all mixed with the kids and helped them do crafts and stuff. I thought it was all rather heartwarming. haha. As for me, i helped decorate, helped smear icing on rice krispies, helped serve grilled cheese, anything but deal with kids. I dont do kids man. I'm scared. hehh. I have no idea what to say to them!!! I was joined my Mike who shared the same opinion as me. So we wandered around taking pictures and laughing at people with Becca. It was all in all a happy experience. I found a channel showing a chinese show yesterday and i made everyone in the common room watch. It was one of those ancient china kind of shows. I love tht kind. HAHA!!! I LOVE CHINESE!!! Everyone was rather annoyed at me, and started annoying me back by pretending to speak chinese. hahaha. They sounded like birds. GO ASIA!